nothing has it is

I’m tired

Tired of smiling when I don’t want to smile
Tired of faking I’m happy
Tired of living in the shadows

Every smile of her makes me smile and cry
Every word of her makes me whisper and scream
Every touch of her makes me warm and scars
I can’t live like this anymore

What am I supposed to do?
Am I supposed to live?
Am I supposed act like this?

I want to you next to me
I need you next to me
But this pain and sorrow makes me fade away

Maybe suicide is the silence way to get this over
Maybe run away is the worst way to get this over
But I can’t stop thinking in you

I’m buried in this hole of questions without answers
I’m crucified in this cross of shame
I’m written in the bible of misery


Your heart wasn’t in me when I needed you
Your smile wasn’t there when I was crying
Your touch wasn’t there when I was hurt

Every time I hear “ love” my eyes turns red
Has the blood I bleeded when my heart
Was pulled off of me when you were gone

Every time I tried to kiss you
You just pushed me away
Like I was a fucking toy

Every time I tried to be next to you
You just ran away from me
To don’t hear my words

Should I live like this?
Or should I fade away?

My poems aren’t the same
They are full of shame
And full of shit

talking to the mirror

I can’t accept this pain anymore!
This memories curses my mind
Pictures of her appearing in front
Of my eyes!

His screams….I can hear it…
Full of pain and sorrow
Full of despair and paranoia
But I can’t touch him I can’t kiss him…

Her fucking smiles are fucking my brains!!
Her fucking laughs are fucking destroying my ears!!

His screams are making me sad
And making me praying for his soul
To die and get out of this world of misery
A bullet in the head…
A knife in his heart…

This crap it’s unconceivable!
So many tears so many screams
To receive fucking nothing from her
Breaking apart everything I felt about her!

He can’t understand my mind…
He can’t understand my heart…
Not even a kiss will make him smile once again…
Not even a goodbye will make him understand…

Sorrow sinks deep inside my blood
Not even her arms around me
Will make me get out from this hole
The hole of misery
The hole of darkness
The hole I call hell

I’m his light
But I can’t give him light
I’m his hope
But I can’t pull him up
I must run away before it’s too late

Please don’t forget me
I can’t let you see me crying
I can’t let you see me falling in depression
I can’t let you see me stitching my heart with 666 stitches




666 memories and I can’t let them falling on me
I can’t feel it again
I can’t drop a tear anymore
I can’t fall…

I loved you until the end
Until your heart turned to stone
And forgot about me
Forgot all those moments of pureness
All those moments of happiness
But now you are living in darkness

Screw you all this darkness it’s a last hope
Life moves on can’t stay the same
Stop worrying
Stop loving
Stop living!!

Stop fucking with my mind!!!
Stop fucking with my heart!!!
Let me save myself from paranoia!!!
Let me save myself of depression!!!
Let me save from this mirror!!!
Let me save from you!!!

You can’t save from myself
I’m your life
I’m your love
I’m your muse

You’re my fall
You’re my disgrace
You’re my muse of death
You’re my shadow

Why so many hate?
Why so many screams?

Why so many decisions?
Why so many pain you craved in my heart?

This pain is the solution
The solution to my survival
Understand me
Try to live without me





You’re not my life
You’re my death
My ghost
The ghost I can’t feel fear
The ghost with the eyes of an angel
The angel of death

Try to see my scattered flesh burning
Try to see my tears turning into ice
Try to see my smile fading
Try to feel my heart stopping because of a dead love

Try to see my body full of scars
Try to see my eyes turning red
Try to see my hands full of blood of your son
Try to feel my anger emerging every time I look to his corpse…


Try to kill me!

pull the trigger

I’m screaming bleeding and crawling for you!!
I’m screaming your name
666 times every nightmare
But you still don’t hear me

I’m bleeding every time
This knife craves in my back
Writing your name
But you still don’t read it

I’m crawling in the ground
In the middle of the darkness
But you still don’t pull me up

My minds is blasting
Fucking ghost fucking with my mind!
Always whispering ways to kill you

I don’t know if all this is real or fake
Looking at you turning your back to me
When I was looking to her grave

Looking at you smoking every time
My tears were falling on the ground
Without looking at me

Listening to you speaking about him
And feeling hatred burning in my heart

These memories will always curse me
Your insignificant little heart can’t understand
My anger and my sadness

Your fucking eyes can’t see me burning
And dying in the flames of the pit of hell


Fuck this I’m pulling the trigger!!!

whispers in the shadows

It’s dark ….
Too dark to keep these feelings inside of me

My face is dry….
What does it mean?
Does it mean I’m dying?
Does it mean I’m human?
Am I a human being?


I don’t feel like a human being!!!
Scars on my body made by my fingers…
This pain I can’t scratch….
Its feels like a snake biting my back

My nails are broken and full of blood
Everyday trying to pull myself up in this hole….
A dark hole full of shadows whispering HER name!!!!
FUCK I can’t think with memories of her always torturing me

Why are my tears black?
Is it because my soul is fading to black?
Happiness is gone to the last….
All my thoughts turned in death…
These tears are pointless….
They won’t bring her back….

Because this is my GRAVE!!
This is my PAIN!!!
This is my SHAME!!!

The moon is my light always with the grim
Singing tales of a heart killed by seven knifes

This is my heart…666 stitches and still black tears comes
Every night I look at her photograph….

All those seven knifes comes back

All the sorrow
All the jealous
All the hate
All the sadness
All the anger
All the doubt
All the pain




My lips are dry and dark
So many poisons I tasted every time
I kissed her lips

The muse of death
Prayed her last wish

My prison
My punishment
My eternal love

The love I so many care
The love I wish it would be the eternal desire

I wish her smile
I wish her touch
I wish her kiss
I wish her love!!!


But if my punishment is loving you
Than I will accept my fate and my will
I will love you and desire you
If it means to live in this prison of dark walls
With the ghosts you cursed…
Being me the cold blooded dead poet
I will write their words…
The tales of love
The tales of eternal depression

My tears will float this hole!!
My screams will tear these walls down!!!
My hate will curse this prison!!!

My corpse will be remembered has the one
You loved without kissing the lips of the cold blooded dead poet