2013/11/17

B.L.A.C.K_H.E.L.L.


Open my eyes, in this pitch black
nothing to do when this pain comes back
I see nothing, becaming numb
I just say, my love is dumb.

feels like yesterday I was looking at you, in the other side of the mirror, never to touch, forever dreaming. I know something wrong with me, all I can do is watch, but the words escapes me and this damn silence keeps you far away, far enough for you to forget me.

As the music dies I embrace this night
let go all I know, turning the dagger that I forgot
cause this friend..well is all I got

As the son awakes, and the shadows are formed
the fear returns: I don´t belong to the night anymore.
expose to the world, but no one else is able to see
where are you, beatiful creature?
where´re my praing going for?
still caging in this loop, awaiting for you to set me free.

2013/04/12

ordena k te ame


Entrei no teu jogo, Como um Louco
Fui ingenuo e tu tão fatal
Joguei-me todo e foi tão pouco
O amor é o teu instinto mais cruel
Enquanto te sigo melhor me faço o teu troféu
Entrei no teu jogo como um louco
Eu sou o teu escravo mais leal
Ordena que te ame
E odeia quando falho
mas usa, abusa de mim
e eu serei feliz até ao fim
Marquei as unhas no corpo,
tornei-me um bicho irreal.
Infectei o lugar onde me punhas,
O amor é este monstro final
Gostas do teu trofeu erguido neste inferno.
Marquei o corpo com as unhas,
Pus-me louco tão original
Ordena que te ame,
E odeia quando falho,
mas usa, abusa de mim e eu serei feliz,
até ao fim.
Ordena que te queira,
E odeia quando paro,
Leva-me, arrasta o meu corpo,
Desfeito em pó.
Ordena que te ame,
E odeia quando falho,
mas usa e abusa de mim e eu serei feliz,
até ao fim
Ordeno que me odeies
Olho porque sofras
Do que uso e abuso é sempre assim
Morrerá por mim
Ordeno que me odeies
Amo que tu sofras
Do que uso e abuso é sempre assim
Morrerá por mim

2013/04/10

you know it´s for you


Nesta cama eu acordei
e olhar para o tecto fiquei;
a perguntar, porque acordei.

E só fico feliz, a sonhar.
E só fico feliz, a pensar.
O que poderá ser de nós

Mesmo que não esteja mais contigo.
Terás sempre o teu lugar na minha alma.
Seja das tuas palavras doces,
ou sorriso k me acalma
Fico eternamente grato aos céus,
de ter-mos partilhado um momento
de apreciar tão belo rosto,
de recriar tão imenso sentimento.

Com tudo o que sei que é bom
Antes, durante e depois
Tanta nostalgia que agora é som.
Agarro-me àquilo que faço
Rumo aos caminhos que passo.
Indo em estradas me são estranhas,
Negando todas as dúvidas e medos.
Á espera de qualquer amor tu me tenhas.

2013/04/04

live the same shit the same


Tanta memória que tinha
e que de memória não passava.
historia coberta em lava,
e com força divina
a minha vontade mudou
Ficou cristalina,
eu sou um nada,
que o destino aldrabou.

Já nem me questiono, não quero saber
o "dejavú" é o msm: tornar a perder.
acordar, andar, comer, sentar e dormir.
A mesma merda que veio e há-de vir.

Encosto-me a um canto,
á espera que seja visto?
não! Estou bem no meio,
facadas: Eu sou um Santo.
chagas: Eu sou um Cristo.
dor: sou quem sou e quem eu creio.

2010/05/16

Scream !!!

Nesta vida eu procuro as razões
de viver para aprender o que sinto cá dentro,
o porquê de todas estas emoções…
No meu mundo e o que está bem lá no centro.
Por muitas que tenha, as respostas nunca chegarão.

Oh tempo, te pergunto honestamente:
Estarei a gastar toda a minha vida,
em busca da minha paixão incompreendida?

Agora que a verdade não me satisfaz,
todo o amor, dor, sentir e ser sentido…
Quero correr, fugir e voltar atrás!
Quero ser o meu antigo mito!
O olhar vazio para este mundo sem sentido…
Porquê tu? E porque eu grito?

2010/05/15

2009/12/30

dedico-te




um único olhar foi o suficiente para
nunca esquecer a tua presença na minha mente
para me aperceber que a tua beleza
era a única que me fazia erguer a cabeça

um único toque na tua face foi o suficiente para me aperceber
que a tua pele era suave e pura
o calor que me transmitiste
aqueceu-me o sangue fazendo-me sentir vivo de novo


um único beijo foi o suficiente para
me aperceber que nunca te esqueceria
aquele momento ficou gravado na minha
memória e no meu coração


uma única vida não é suficiente para
continuar ao teu lado e ter a oportunidade
de te amar e passar o resto da minha vida no teu coração
como o teu olhar, a tua face, o teu beijo e o teu amor permanecem
no meu coraçao

suspiro do vulto

O tal sentimento ambíguo
De cada vulto que governa a minha mente e o meu coração
Cada momento que deslumbro a tua beleza

O teu olhar brilhante que ofusca cada sombra.
O teu sorriso cintilante que deslumbra os demónios de Hades

A fraqueza que tenho de me deixar seduzir por ti
A vontade que tenho de olhar para cada movimento que fazes
Apreciar cada gesto de ternura que fazes ao seduzir-me
O desejo que tenho de deter o tempo cada vez que me beijas

Mas estarei a deliberar a sentença certa?

Será que não terei que enfrentar mais um inferno?
Será que não irei derramar mais lágrimas sangrentas?

Não serei uma simples sedução tua?
Não serei um simples momento? Um equívoco? Um amor desapaixonado?

Será que sou um vulto esquecido na minha cripta suja de beatas?
Será que vou ser como um cigarro que usas e cujo fumas calcas a sua existência?

Sempre fui uma sombra cuja ninguém sabe de quem pertenço…
Uma mancha negra nesta parede branca…
Uma sepultura esquecida…

Amar-te é fácil
Amar-te é uma bíblia onde escrevo sobre ti e releio sempre que morro e renasço
Amar-te é a minha dúvida
O meu receio
O meu motivo de me esconder

Serei aquele vulto que se senta num café a fumar a ultima alma penada a olhar para uma rosa negra a contar os milénios há tua espera



2009/12/15

"other page"

Mais um dia, mais uma desilusão
Aprendendo, corro eu na vida
Porquê, sua arma perdida?
Para poder preencher meu coração

O grito de dor de meu corpo
A agonia da minha mente
Uma relação que deu para o torto
Que só meu ser sente

Há alguém que chama?
Há alguém que me quer?
Parabéns a quem se livrou de mim, mas lamento por serem assim
não sei qual é o castigo mais cruel:o inferno ou vocês mesmos…

Que cada marca na minha carne
Me sirva de lição…
Me lembra da vossa traição, vos sabeis quem sois…
“Pobres almas vagabundas”

2009/07/20

romantic melody


A romantic melody makes my mind filled with rage
And my heart floating with tears
Where I desire to get drown and finally sleep

But I must remember….
That I’m not that typical…I won’t be so weak

As you can see my life is filled with silence
And quietness ….no one around
Houses without a light
I must talk to my own shadow

You….
Save me….grab me….kiss me….love me….
Light up my sky….hold me….make me stop feeling scared…
But….

I can’t love again….
I can’t leave a place so magical…
I belong in these empty graves….
No citizens…no ghosts…no corpses….

I belong in the library….
Books without words the poems reveal empty feelings….
The only word I can right….love….


Why?!What is it?! Who am I?!
Destroyed! Left behind! Empty! Psychotic!

Crucified in Never land where the sun is dark
And the ocean sucks out the souls

Kiss me….touch me….feel me….save me!!
I can’t say to you goodbye once again….
My voice is gone…
I can’t push you away….
My arms are paralyzed….

Just remember…when everything feels so dead
I will be there to remember you I love you

Please be my romantic melody

2009/07/17

princess of darkness

One siMple coffee
One black cigar fading
Dead sky
Chilling wind emerging mY ghosts

In front of Me
A beaUtiful princess
Lightning my sky
Warming my soul

A seductive body
A killing look
She whiSpers her song
The song of the shadows

I can’t stop staring I can’t stop writing
About hEr beauty and darkness
WhO is she?

She stares I can’t move
Is this her spell?
MagniFicent lady

She comes to me with one simple kiss
How honorable and thankful


Her skin so soft I Don’t wAnt to stop feeling it
HeR lips so smooth a desire of kissing her
Such a forbidden fruit
A princess of darKness

BeiNg me a simple poet
I will desire her
Writing her and dying for her

I will be hEr cold blooded dead poet
Writing her value
Protect her from the ghoSts of her past

A fearless woman
A beauty from the grave of royalty
I must pleaSe her
I must pursue her

Please hold my rose and smell
My love
I’m lost in your charm
Your whispers I must persuade and obey
Her darkened eyes Holds her beauty
And I get drowned in dreams and unsaid and final words

She is the graceful angel of hell
A luxurius princess of darkness

2009/06/29

silenced ink

Lost words…lost memories…lost souls…
Who are they? Unrecognized souls lost in this river…
I used to look t them and say to myself that one day I would swim in despair…

But why? For who?
I’m still writing this letters with no destination
Just words connected to words with no destiny with no sentence

I used to go home with knowing I would love someone and hold her
But now I don’t have that acknowledge
She is gone in that river
Knowing that I don’t had a life in this world

I always had silence in my mind
Never said a word to her
Never dropped a tear to her
Because I didn’t want to

But now I miss her smile and her look

I miss kissing her lips every time I called her name
I miss reading her letters describing her love
I miss her whisper in my hear “ I love you”
I miss her

Every night I walk in the dark streets full with sin and loneliness
I am completely lost in these shadows
Wishing to be one of them

But I must write this letters with no destination
I will keep writing the letters with the silenced ink

2009/06/17

prison of forgotten ones

Careless (I was)… Lover (I was)…happy (I was)
A killer (I am!!!!)

Sick and tired of living in this cell
All day eating worms
Every fucking rapper and criminal
Whining and crying for more blood

Darkness….
Hiding my corpses in the shadows
Hiding slaves being fucked
Hiding the ghosts and their crimes

Whispers from the Catholics
Praying to Jesus of never land
Believe in fucking anything

We showed our mother they have no sons
We didn’t control ourselves
We killed mankind
We tasted their blood
We want more!!!!!!!!!!!


At least I’m not sorry to kill everyone
I can sleep in peace and smile to you
Fucking cowards with no point of life

Now realize I’m a hater a killer
Getting stronger and better
Your nightmare makes me smile
Because I am your nightmare



Give me more reasons to hate and torture you
This prison won’t stop me
This prison won’t stop this army of forgotten ones
We are one beast
Our blood will sink your sweet fucking home

I won’t control or restrain feelings I can’t understand
I keep drinking the blood of my son and mutilate the body of his mother

2009/05/01

letter to my valentine

From the beginning I knew that this girl was especial. I will never forget her words: “I don’t give a damn for the others, the most important is me, and now you to…”
Don’t exist enough feelings to describe me in that moment. It was like crying and laughing, fell pain for the joy and happiness.
I hope this time nothing goes wrong, I really love her, like no one else before.
I know this post is short, but I promise to you I will keep writing, and keep your beauty in my mind and heart...forever.

2009/03/16

nothing has it is

I’m tired

Tired of smiling when I don’t want to smile
Tired of faking I’m happy
Tired of living in the shadows

Every smile of her makes me smile and cry
Every word of her makes me whisper and scream
Every touch of her makes me warm and scars
I can’t live like this anymore

What am I supposed to do?
Am I supposed to live?
Am I supposed act like this?

I want to you next to me
I need you next to me
But this pain and sorrow makes me fade away

Maybe suicide is the silence way to get this over
Maybe run away is the worst way to get this over
But I can’t stop thinking in you

I’m buried in this hole of questions without answers
I’m crucified in this cross of shame
I’m written in the bible of misery


Your heart wasn’t in me when I needed you
Your smile wasn’t there when I was crying
Your touch wasn’t there when I was hurt

Every time I hear “ love” my eyes turns red
Has the blood I bleeded when my heart
Was pulled off of me when you were gone

Every time I tried to kiss you
You just pushed me away
Like I was a fucking toy

Every time I tried to be next to you
You just ran away from me
To don’t hear my words

Should I live like this?
Or should I fade away?

My poems aren’t the same
They are full of shame
And full of shit

talking to the mirror

I can’t accept this pain anymore!
This memories curses my mind
Pictures of her appearing in front
Of my eyes!

His screams….I can hear it…
Full of pain and sorrow
Full of despair and paranoia
But I can’t touch him I can’t kiss him…

Her fucking smiles are fucking my brains!!
Her fucking laughs are fucking destroying my ears!!

His screams are making me sad
And making me praying for his soul
To die and get out of this world of misery
A bullet in the head…
A knife in his heart…

This crap it’s unconceivable!
So many tears so many screams
To receive fucking nothing from her
Breaking apart everything I felt about her!

He can’t understand my mind…
He can’t understand my heart…
Not even a kiss will make him smile once again…
Not even a goodbye will make him understand…

Sorrow sinks deep inside my blood
Not even her arms around me
Will make me get out from this hole
The hole of misery
The hole of darkness
The hole I call hell

I’m his light
But I can’t give him light
I’m his hope
But I can’t pull him up
I must run away before it’s too late


Please don’t forget me
I can’t let you see me crying
I can’t let you see me falling in depression
I can’t let you see me stitching my heart with 666 stitches





666 memories and I can’t let them falling on me
I can’t feel it again
I can’t drop a tear anymore
I can’t fall…

I loved you until the end
Until your heart turned to stone
And forgot about me
Forgot all those moments of pureness
All those moments of happiness
But now you are living in darkness

Screw you all this darkness it’s a last hope
Life moves on can’t stay the same
Stop worrying
Stop loving
Stop living!!

Stop fucking with my mind!!!
Stop fucking with my heart!!!
Let me save myself from paranoia!!!
Let me save myself of depression!!!
Let me save from this mirror!!!
Let me save from you!!!

You can’t save from myself
I’m your life
I’m your love
I’m your muse

You’re my fall
You’re my disgrace
You’re my muse of death
You’re my shadow

Why so many hate?
Why so many screams?

Why so many decisions?
Why so many pain you craved in my heart?

This pain is the solution
The solution to my survival
Understand me
Try to live without me





You’re not my life
You’re my death
My ghost
The ghost I can’t feel fear
The ghost with the eyes of an angel
The angel of death

Try to see my scattered flesh burning
Try to see my tears turning into ice
Try to see my smile fading
Try to feel my heart stopping because of a dead love


Try to see my body full of scars
Try to see my eyes turning red
Try to see my hands full of blood of your son
Try to feel my anger emerging every time I look to his corpse…


Try to kill me!

pull the trigger


I’m screaming bleeding and crawling for you!!
I’m screaming your name
666 times every nightmare
But you still don’t hear me

I’m bleeding every time
This knife craves in my back
Writing your name
But you still don’t read it

I’m crawling in the ground
In the middle of the darkness
But you still don’t pull me up

My minds is blasting
Fucking ghost fucking with my mind!
Always whispering ways to kill you

I don’t know if all this is real or fake
Looking at you turning your back to me
When I was looking to her grave

Looking at you smoking every time
My tears were falling on the ground
Without looking at me

Listening to you speaking about him
And feeling hatred burning in my heart

These memories will always curse me
Your insignificant little heart can’t understand
My anger and my sadness

Your fucking eyes can’t see me burning
And dying in the flames of the pit of hell


Fuck this I’m pulling the trigger!!!

whispers in the shadows

It’s dark ….
Too dark to keep these feelings inside of me

My face is dry….
What does it mean?
Does it mean I’m dying?
Does it mean I’m human?
Am I a human being?


I don’t feel like a human being!!!
Scars on my body made by my fingers…
This pain I can’t scratch….
Its feels like a snake biting my back

My nails are broken and full of blood
Everyday trying to pull myself up in this hole….
A dark hole full of shadows whispering HER name!!!!
FUCK I can’t think with memories of her always torturing me

Why are my tears black?
Is it because my soul is fading to black?
Happiness is gone to the last….
All my thoughts turned in death…
These tears are pointless….
They won’t bring her back….

Because this is my GRAVE!!
This is my PAIN!!!
This is my SHAME!!!

The moon is my light always with the grim
Singing tales of a heart killed by seven knifes

This is my heart…666 stitches and still black tears comes
Every night I look at her photograph….

All those seven knifes comes back

All the sorrow
All the jealous
All the hate
All the sadness
All the anger
All the doubt
All the pain




My lips are dry and dark
So many poisons I tasted every time
I kissed her lips

The muse of death
Prayed her last wish

My prison
My punishment
My eternal love

The love I so many care
The love I wish it would be the eternal desire

I wish her smile
I wish her touch
I wish her kiss
I wish her love!!!


But if my punishment is loving you
Than I will accept my fate and my will
I will love you and desire you
If it means to live in this prison of dark walls
With the ghosts you cursed…
Being me the cold blooded dead poet
I will write their words…
The tales of love
The tales of eternal depression

My tears will float this hole!!
My screams will tear these walls down!!!
My hate will curse this prison!!!

My corpse will be remembered has the one
You loved without kissing the lips of the cold blooded dead poet

2009/02/08

the love strike again

I promised to myself, I never fall in love like this.. My heart can’t stand like this anymore! I should stop this pain and sorrow. And the people who I thought were my friends just are stupid. How she doesn’t understand the love I have with me and how I care about she. “Nem que todos os anjos mais santos a ajudem, estará sempre cega para ver o mundo que a rodeia. Que mais tenho que fazer para a alertar e avisar dos perigos da escuridão… que incompleta o seu ser. N quero ser o mau da fita, mas o tempo urge e tenho a sensação que o meu diário já devia ter sido aberto à mais tempo, mas também a ingenuidade dela que a rodeia…deixa muito a desejar” I can’t say her name, but all the seven letters will ever be mark in my skin, in my mind, in my heart! How can I believe in love if the only think he gave me was pain and rage. The thing that bother me more is the fact that she don’t say nothing nice, only to blow my head with more questions! FUCK YOU!!! Don’t ever say anything to me again!

2009/01/21

city of the damned


This is my city…
Creeping memories of nights staring
At the window watching a raper raping
and Innocent teenager and pointing the finger
To me saying”you tell someone you’re next”

Everytime I get out of home the smell
Of a corpse next to the door
A drunk…
A poor soul…thinking that he can escape problems by getting drunk

While I am walking l I see the next door
women with her son on her arms screaming for help
” please help me my son doesnt breathe !”
No one helps…for what? She’s not gonna pay them so no one cares

Along the way a guy runs agaisnt an old granny…
He puts her in the ground and steal her purse…
There she is crying for someone to get the fucker…
No one helps…the cops are eating theyr donuts so they cant help….

Across the street you can see a little girl with blood on her shirt…
Her sister was ran over by a car…hit and run…asshole…
She is an orfan….her sister was everything she got…until now…
She is calling for help but the cops said”fuck off little bitch!”

So many tears…there she is holding her teddy bear sitted in the corner hiding in the shadows
At night…

Whores smoking her cigarettes with her skirts and tops
Waving to every car…

Idiots…thinking they were going to be models….

Her pimps stealing all the money…and holding the hand of a
Little inocent teenager crying with blood on her legs…first time…
with a fat prick hitting her until she fakes pleasure….

Behind the restaurant theres a homeless with his arm full of blood
Addicted asshole…every days dying with pleasure….cant wait to see him die with an overdose

People ask me” why so much hate?”
I haven’t got any reason to love…
Hate this city…full of sin…
Hate this people…full of ignorance…
Hate this world….so full of shit…
Hate myself…for letting the only one I love dying while she gets raped in front of my window…