nothing has it is

I’m tired

Tired of smiling when I don’t want to smile
Tired of faking I’m happy
Tired of living in the shadows

Every smile of her makes me smile and cry
Every word of her makes me whisper and scream
Every touch of her makes me warm and scars
I can’t live like this anymore

What am I supposed to do?
Am I supposed to live?
Am I supposed act like this?

I want to you next to me
I need you next to me
But this pain and sorrow makes me fade away

Maybe suicide is the silence way to get this over
Maybe run away is the worst way to get this over
But I can’t stop thinking in you

I’m buried in this hole of questions without answers
I’m crucified in this cross of shame
I’m written in the bible of misery


Your heart wasn’t in me when I needed you
Your smile wasn’t there when I was crying
Your touch wasn’t there when I was hurt

Every time I hear “ love” my eyes turns red
Has the blood I bleeded when my heart
Was pulled off of me when you were gone

Every time I tried to kiss you
You just pushed me away
Like I was a fucking toy

Every time I tried to be next to you
You just ran away from me
To don’t hear my words

Should I live like this?
Or should I fade away?

My poems aren’t the same
They are full of shame
And full of shit